Adoption Questions

If you have ever read my blog or if you know me at all, you know Jake is a blessing from adoption.  Jeff and I are parents to the most wonderful little gift any parent could ever ask for.  Any time someone finds out Jake is adopted I get all kinds of questions and I take time to answer them all.  I have found adoption to be part of my mission and I try to use the opportunity to talk about how wonderful Jake is of course, how blessed we are, and most importantly how we were blessed and God worked through adoption for us.  There were some really hard times before we were matched with Jake's birth mother and I would not have made it through with God pulling me along the way.

So today I am going to answer some of the most frequent questions I get about adoption.

Is he really adopted?
yes he is adopted,  I didn't make that up.  He is a normal little boy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and one head  People have said to me "oh I want to see him" and I just try to laugh it off and use the opportunity to share our adoption story with them.  It is just a fear of the unknown.

Does he know he is adopted?  Will you tell him he is adopted?  Do you talk about it?
Yes, yes and yes!  Jeff and I decided before Jake was ever born that we would be open with our child.  No secrets about who he is, where he came from, or how we are his Momma and Daddy.  I did not want to sit down one day and have "the talk" and have Jake think we had been lying all the time.  Besides we did not want him to doubt us about others things like God.  We have talked about our journey openly and as much as his little 3 year old mind can understand he does.  If you ask him who's belly he grew in he says "Sara" and who's heart did you grow in "Momma's".  He will tell you he has two Mommie's... a tummy Mommie and a heart Mommie.

Do you talk to his birth mother?
yes we do!  There have been good time and tough times for everyone involved.  It has been difficult for everyone at times.  Thankfully we have worked into a great relationship and we are friends with Sara.  I tell everyone you have no idea how much I love Sara - her gift of Jake allowed me to be a mother.  Until you have that connection with someone you will never understand.  I wanted to be a Momma more that anything in the world and I could not do it myself.  Sara gave me that chance and I am forever grateful.  Sara is getting married in September and we are going to the wedding.  I am very excited to see her again and be there for this big day in her life!

  

Me, Jake, Sara, and Dusti (Sara's daughter)

August 2010

Sara and Eric.....isn't she a doll!

June 2013

How much does it cost?

This is my least favorite question.  It is not an easy one to answer and to us it was not about the cost.  We were blessed to have help from my parents and without them we would not have been able to do it.  We also lost a ton of money in a failed adoption before we met Sara.  That agency was corrupt and we lost everything.  (that will have to be another post)  And all adoptions cost different amounts depending on if you use an agency, just go through an attorney, or go through the state.  

Could you "tell them what you wanted"?

Yes but we did not.  We wanted a baby and it didn't matter if it was a boy or girl.  If I had been pregnant we would have gotten what God wanted us to have so that is exactly how we looked adoption.  And I am so thankful we were blessed with a Jake! 

Where is he from?  

Jake was born in Iowa, USA but he is straight from God!

How old was he when you got him?

brand new!  We were there the day he was born.  Sara even invited us to the ultrasound in July before he was born in October.  What a blessing!  

Would you do it again?

YES, YES, YES!!!!  There is no way to describe the blessings I have received through adoption!  Most importantly I am Jake's Momma which is the most amazing thing in the whole world!  I have learn so much about myself, my faith has grown, and I have learned how to look for the positives in every situation.  I have made wonderful friends that I would have never met unless I had adopted.  I have a wonderful friend in our social worker Gloria.   She is a blessing from God and still is a light for me in any storm.  She always knows what to say when I am struggling. 

What is your advice for me if I adopt?

Pray a lot!  Do not be force into any situation you are not totally comfortable with, you have to be able to provide for the child so know what will work with your family.  And hang on to your socks!  you are going on a wild ride but you will never experience anything so wonderful and blessing!

I cant say enough about our experience!  I am beyond blessed!  If you have any other questions or just want to "talk adoption" give me a shout!  I would LOVE to share with you!  

Before I go you have to see a picture of my sweet little man!

Bone tired after fireworks on July 4th.