Birthmothers and Open Adoptions

What do you think about when I say Birthmother?  Come on, be honest!

Since we began our adoption journey I have heard so many negative things about birthmothers.  It usually has something to do with she doesn't want the baby, doesn't care about the baby,  just does not want to settle down and handle the responsibility of having a child.  I have heard it all!  And of course, always from people that know nothing about adoption and have no experience with it at all.

What do you think about when I say open adoption?

Most of the time it is "I could never do that", "I would not want anything to do with her".  And again, almost always negative and I have heard it all!

No one will ever understand how much I love Sara!  Most people think it is crazy but until you have been in my shoes don't judge.  Sara was part of God's plan for our lives.   She gave me the one thing I wanted most in life and could not have.  I firmly believe God worked in Sara's life and put her in our paths because He knew I was going to be Jake's momma.   Yes, she was in a bad place in her life and could not provide for a child.  But instead of aborting Jake she loved him enough to place him for adoption.  To give him a life she couldn't.  She loved him!  Have you ever thought about how much love it takes to place a child for adoption.  It is easy to say "I want to keep my baby" even though you can't provide.  In some situations, that is selfish.  Sara loved Jake more than that!  She loved him enough to give him a better life. Two parents who wanted a child more than anything, were in a stable place, and could provide.  Was it easy for her?  NO  But it was the best choice for her and for Jake.

We have had good times and bad times since Jake was born.  We have worked into a great relationship.  We are blessed to be able to talk to Sara and communicate openly and freely.  It has truly been a blessing for me!  I do not allow anyone to say anything negative about adoption or about Sara.  There is nothing negative to say!  She gave birth to Jake and I will always love her and always be grateful to her!

Me and Sara - I had been crying happy tears.

Emma (Sara's sister), Jake, and Sara

What a beautiful bride!

In my opinion, the most handsome man at the wedding.  Sorry Eric!

Eric and Sara

Jake and Emma

Sara, Emma, Jake, Lisa (Sara's Mom), and Kara (Sara's sister)

Sara got married a couple of weeks ago and we were invited to the wedding.  I am so thankful we went!  It was great to go back to the place Jake was born.  We enjoyed seeing her family we already knew and were so glad to meet so many more.  Everyone was so nice and welcoming.  I was a little nervous about how we would be received but for the most part it was awesome.  I was so happy to see Sara in a good place!  She is so happy!   It was an awesome trip!  I hope we don't have to wait as long to see them again.

Jake, me and Mackenzie (Kara's daughter)

me and Jeff with Sara's family at the rehearsal 

So the next time you hear about a birthmother or open adoption, don't automatically think negative thoughts.  Think happy, heat warming thoughts!  Adoption is a positive thing!